The Family Dinner: How Healthy Meals and Happy Homes Go Together

“Time to eat!”

In our home, this is the announcement to get everyone to gather around the table. As we are a family with four littles—our eldest is in first grade and our youngest is 3 months old—it’s not always easy to do this quietly; the announcement tends to reverberate in repetitions (in second and third voices) before the family is settled enough to say the grace before meals.

Eating dinner together has long been recognized as a great way for a family to bond with each other every day. It’s a venue for sharing stories, opinions, laughter; it creates memories of happiness and good food; and, as it happens at the end of the day, it is the perfect time to unwind together—it’s good for both the children and the adults.

Keep it positive

I thought I’d write about this topic when I saw the title of this story in Channel News Asia written by Kelly Ang. “No phones, no scoldings: How we keep daily family dinners sacred” points out a curious thing for me. In my childhood dining room, we had a 20-year-old black and white TV set that one had to hit (and twist the antenna in every imaginable direction) if it got buzzy. But it would be switched off at dinner time. We also had a radio that had the morning news rolling at breakfast time before school.

Today, distractions are more common—so common that many have forgotten the art of dinner conversation. So a good resolution (if it isn’t being practiced yet) is to remove gadgets from the table. Television, too, does not need to be vying for attention at this time.

Harking back to Ang’s piece, dinner time is not a venue to admonish anyone, although nagging does happen. Gentle (and sometimes more persuasive) reminders of “spoon in your right hand,” “keep eating please,” “put your legs down,” and “come back to the table” are corrections that need to be given, as we are teaching little ones their table manners.

Teaching by example

The dinner table is a venue not only for teaching table manners, but also a spirit of service, which is a natural desire to help others. It begins with being sensitive to others’ needs and then doing something to address them. For parents this is a given, so it is by their example that the children learn to care for others. Service can be as simple as offering to pour water into an emptied glass, helping the younger ones to peel an orange, or fetching the spoons and bowls for the yogurt or ice cream dessert.

Another important thing to teach during family dinner is the appreciation for simple and healthy food. Home cooked meals are delicious when you use wholesome ingredients: fresh vegetables served as a salad or a stir-fry; well-sourced proteins such as meat, fish, eggs, and beans cooked into soup, stewed, roasted, or steamed; fermented veggies (kimchi, dill pickles, sauerkraut—for probiotics); and fruits. As we are Asian, rice is a staple in our meals, although we do replace it with bread on other days. A good helping of rice gives energy—we learn to be satisfied with just one serving, and not what we call “unli-rice”—that is, unlimited rice.

Happy meals

Finally, to have happy family dinners is the goal, which is what makes up the wonderful memories that fill the heart “to the brim.” Cheerfulness is key—so have a sense of humor and take things lightly. After all, it’s a time of the day in which we can surround ourselves with family and warmth; plus, we get the chance to give others a reason to smile.

"The dinner table is a venue not only for teaching table manners, but also a spirit of service, which is a natural desire to help others. It begins with being sensitive to others’ needs and then doing something to address them."