7 Self Care Tips for Moms

On Mother's Day, I came across an article written by Gretchen Rubin (The Happiness Project) in CNBC. One of the things she lists as part of her "4 best parenting lessons" is "When you are kind to yourself, you become a better parent."

I appreciate that she wrote this. Mothers often need to be reminded to take care of themselves, because they're (we're) often so busy caring for the needs of the little ones to care for our own. Rubin points out that caring for our own needs can also help us help others better. To quote:

"One frustrating aspect of happiness is that we can’t make people change. As a parent, however, I discovered that when I changed myself—when I got more sleep so I was less irritable, when I gave myself more time so I wasn’t rushing around, when I kept my sense of humor—my daughters became calmer and more cheerful."

What I like about what she wrote is that she doesn't make "self care" an end in itself. It is a means to make one more able to serve others. We want to care for ourselves so we can create a brighter, more cheerful atmosphere in the home. Mothers (and anyone, actually!) need self care, but not in an inward-looking manner. Rather, always with the goal if being able to do things better. It's like the protocol on oxygen masks on the airplane: first, fix your own mask, then help others with theirs.

In that regard, what kind self care should moms never do without? I make a list below:

1. Prayer. A mother's life is full of the hustle and bustle of caring for the children (and the husband!), caring for the home, and, for many working moms, managing her responsibilities at work and everything that else comes with that. Regular prayer is a necessary pause to be able to examine closely the aspects of her life and see if she needs to work on anything better, solve problems when there is conflict, or simply find a moment to be grateful, a moment to be just a daughter talking to a loving Father. For Catholics, there's the Holy Mass and confession for a constant source of grace (providing moms with the strength we need!), and the rosary (we can run to our own Mother in heaven, too!).

2. Eating well. We need to eat well-balanced meals. That means plenty of vegetables, a small amount of meat/protein, fruits, grains, nuts in moderation. Water over any sugary drinks. Cooking at home takes a little more time but it is rewarding because it weans us out of cravings from food designed to be addictive. For more diet tips, I rounded up some positive diet tips here.

3. Exercise. Brett Larkin, a yoga mom who posted the mom-and-baby yoga videos that I used to watch on YouTube, said it simply: Moms need to be strong, so they can carry their baby. It doesn't have to be yoga, though! It can be any form of exercise like walking outside or even just the movements related to housekeeping or doing our day-to-day tasks. The point is, moms need to be strong because we can't be unable to carry the load of the tasks we need to do.

4. Sleep. Related to being strong is sleeping the right hours. Sleep is the time the body repairs itself. Not getting enough sleep means the body is not able to repair itself, which makes you feel bad. To keep chugging along, you will resort to midnight snacking (not a healthy habit) which gives little boost to the lack of energy, but that is just a band aid. If you can't sleep, make it a habit to do the three things I listed above... or follow the hack I wrote about in this post.

5. Reading. Emily Dickinson was right: There is no frigate like a book. Books are wonderful windows we can look through to spy other worlds. They are ships (frigates) that take us to faraway places. They are a friend who helps us by giving advice from their expertise. They are microscopes or telescopes that help understand concepts minute or gigantic. Fostering a love for reading helps moms to enjoy a quiet time and learn at the same time. It takes us away from the screen. It fits the busy life because we can simply stop reading and pick it up again later as needed, without having to push any other buttons.

6. Medical and dental health care. Don't forget the annual health check and the biannual dental check up. They are your assurance that everything is carrying on as usual. Plus, it helps to find out what changes need to be done to keep healthy. As we age, our bodies change, so we should also adjust how we care for ourselves.

7. Skincare. So many trending skincare routines and make up techniques online can confuse the already confused mom who just wants to look a little less tired (you know what I mean). I think the basic here is to take care of the skin first from the inside. (I learned this from Miwa, a Japanese mom who talks about healthy eating on YouTube.) Again, healthy eating, avoiding sugary foods (which cause breakouts). This, plus the regular wash-tone-mositurize routine is more than enough, really! And for make up, my favorite of all is using just a little (as taught here by Lisa Eldridge.) You don't even need all of the make up available because if you take care of your canvas (the skin), you can get away with hardly any makeup at all.

That's it! A belated Mother's Day post this is, but it's something to think about and make time for, because, as the Ilaw ng Tahanan (light of the home, which is what mothers are known for in Filipino), moms need to shine brightly to make the home a welcoming place, somewhere the members of the family would want to return to after a long tiring day. The home is a happy place; our mothering should make it so!

"Mothers often need to be reminded to take care of themselves, because they're (we're) often so busy caring for the needs of the little ones to care for our own. Gretchen Rubin who wrote The Happiness Project points out that caring for our own needs can also help us help others better."